What is a Support Network?
What does it take to begin a M.I.S.S. Support Network?
What do I do first?
What about the meetings?
Media Interaction
More Information

What is a Support Network?

A Support Network is more than a support 'group.' The Network is a group of committed parents who work together toward a shared vision. This results in monthly support groups meetings, media interaction, ongoing programs, establishing positive relationships with local hospitals, funeral homes, and EMS departments, and doing so as part of a team.

What does it take to begin a M.I.S.S. Support Network?

The only requirements are commitment, tenacity, and an understanding of our MISSion statement, history, and vision.

What do I do first?

If you are newly bereaved, less than one year, we recommend you wait until embarking into a commitment of this magnitude alone. One option is to find another parent willing to assist you who is further along in their grief. Perhaps a trained counselor would be willing to volunteer their time. If your child died more than 18+ months ago, and you feel that you are ready to commit to a Support Network, email Joanne Caccitore, joanne@missfoundation.org with a letter of intent. We will need to know where you are located, and your child's story. Once you have submitted a letter of intent, you can begin your search for a facility to hold monthly meetings.

Call local churches, YWCA's, and other clubs that have comfortable and quiet rooms. Tell them about our MISSion and ask if you would be allowed to use their facility one night per month. Many places are happy to do this. We do not recommend a hospital. Keep in mind that if you form a good relationship with the facility, you may be able to plant a memorial/meditation garden and more as a joint effort of community support.

Develop your 'network.' Talk to others and form an informal board of committed parents. The informal 'board' should vote on a meeting date and time for each month and do not change this.

Next, create a flyer or brochure about the group. Explain the MISSion and meeting place and time. Begin building relationships with the hospitals, funeral homes, and fire departments. Our website is a great reference and resource to recommend to them. Enlist a group of professionals to assist you in your quest.

Support groups are not therapy sessions. Therapy seeks to 'change' a behavior, belief, or thought. Support groups are for open and honest expression; a place to help enhance coping skills and minimize feelings of isolation.

The role of facilitator and co-facilitator is quite simple…listen, speak minimally, and guide only when necessary. We recommend you check out a book on facilitating support groups at your local library. The facilitator can 'make or break' a support group. Remember that silence is not the enemy. It gives people time to gather thoughts and prepare their next statement.

Begin the group on time. State the purpose and MISSion of the group. Ask if there are any questions before you begin.

Reinforce confidentiality. This should be a sanctuary to share without fears of violation from outside the group.

The choice of silence. No one has to share if they aren't comfortable. Let them know that they can just listen.

Monopolizers. These are people who will use the entire group time talking about themselves. Others need to share too. The facilitators role is to intervene, and gently guide the topic to another parent. One way to do this effectively is to ask, "So Katie, tell us how you feel about what Judy just shared."

One ups-man-ship. An absolute NO-NO! No one's grief can be measured against another person's grief. It is as individual as your fingerprints. This must be halted immediately if the sharing heads in this direction. No judgments should be allowed. Only sharing of feelings, issues, concerns, and pain. We are here to share the journey, not build walls.

Begin with new attendees. Encourage them to share their child, and introduce themselves to the group. Pass if they are unable, and reassure them that it is okay.

Once the new members have shared, ask the regular attendees how they are feeling one by one. Ensure everyone has had a chance to share.

Allow for 20 minutes after the meeting of 'peer bonding' time. Before you end, tell them about this special time to meet one another, share phone numbers and talk. We recommend bringing a tape with special music pre-recorded to play in the background (see Cherish Corner )

Send a follow up note to the first timers thanking them. Be sure to use a sign in sheet that includes name, address, phone, child's name, and dates. Create your own database for anniversary cards if possible.

Finally, take mental notes. How did the meeting go? What could be done differently? Ask 'board' members their thoughts.

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Media Interaction
Press releases are an effective way to bring attention to the MISSion of our group and cause. It also educates parents that this group is available. For assistance, contact Joanne Cacciatore.

Schedule as many special events, especially fundraisers, as possible. Create a 'baby memory ' book with all the babies from group included. Bring this with you for public awareness and education.

Print the MISSing Angels bimonthly newsletter off the website and copy for your attendees. Add one extra page that includes the 'local' information they will need to stay informed about events. The newsletter will be posted in a timely manner from November 1999 forward.

Keep Careful Financial Records Be scrupulous when keeping records of donations or fundraisers. Each group is responsible for its own records.

IMPORTANT NOTE: In accordance with our MISSion statement, we require each group to donate 6% of all funds raised through grants, donations, fundraisers, etc.

Need More Information?

Contact Nicole Dougherty Nicole@missfoundation.org

If you’re interested in starting a MISS Foundation support network and group in your area, please submit the following:

1. Letter of Intent

• A professionally written statement of your intent and abilities

1. Curriculum Vitae

• A resume of professional and academic experience
• Note: You are not required to hold a degree, however, you will be required to obtain adequate training and attend a minimum level of participation in facilitator trainings.

International groups-
Carla Hoffman is our international coordinator carla@missfoundation.org

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