"Who better to soften the wound of one, than he who has suffered the wound himself."
- Thomas Jefferson

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"I have seen that in any great undertaking it is not enough for a man to depend simply upon himself."

Our infant daughter and sister, Cheyenne, died on her due date- about 20 minutes prior to birth- July 27, 1994. She is our fourth of five children. We love her and miss her very much. I refuse to forget Cheyenne or to go along with "society's" view that it was not a child that died- just a fetus. I keep photos of her all through our home, just as our other four children. I include her in Christmas cards every year. I openly discuss issues about her death with others, despite their obvious discomfort with the subject (the easiest way to clear a room is to say her name!)

Through our united efforts, we can change their views of our children's death. We can draw from each other the courage to scream from the rooftops, "THIS IS MY CHILD. I HAVE A RIGHT AS HIS OR HER PARENT TO MOURN!" The unification of our voices empowers us to force a change.

Join this movement on NetPals. Discover friendship and encouragement as you face grief, and those who would lovingly try to take it away. Although life will never be the same without your child, one day you will be able to reflect on the gifts your child has given, certainly more than we could begin to imagine. Although the pain never goes away, the debilitating grief eventually subsides, only to re-emerge on occasion.

After the death of our child, our life becomes like a puzzle. It may be a beautiful nature puzzle- maybe of Havasupai Falls in the Grand Canyon, a cascading waterfall, greenery, blue water...indescribable natural beauty. We work for five months, or 10 months, or 24 months to painstakingly complete the puzzle. Finally, we are nearing the end. Lo and behold- a corner piece of the puzzle is missing. The puzzle will never be complete. Although we can see the picture in the puzzle and appreciate its beauty, it is never quite "right." Our eye is eternally drawn to the missing piece in the corner.

This is our life without our child.