Paige lived three months 12 days. She was a beautiful baby with thick black hair and big blue eyes. She was so big and healthy and always laughing. I don't know how this could happen to such a special baby. We wanted her so bad. My husband always wanted a little girl. I remember when we first met he talked about how great it would be to have a little girl with his thick black hair and my blue eyes. And that is exactly what we had. Now we just wonder how this could happen to two people who wanted nothing more than to love a child and give her the best life possible. Why only three months and 12 days????? It is so hard to watch my beautiful daughter grow up in my mind. I often wonder what she would look like today at 16 months of age. I miss her so much.

I would be interested in talking to other parents who have been through this. I find some comfort in talking with other people. My husband and I don't talk about what happened very often. I know this is just his way of dealing with it. But I need to talk about her and keep her memory alive.

Paige inspired me to want more children. Before she passed away I didn't want any more children, I thought that one was enough. Now I want alot more!! Our Son was born three months ago {I was pregnant with him very soon after Paige passed away.) She showed me that being a mom is the most rewarding job there is. There is no love like the love you feel for your children. She was so very special. Samuel passed the age that she was just this week so now I can breathe a little easier. I guess the thing that comes to mind as far as words of wisdom go is this..."In three months and 12 days Paige touched more lives than some people do in 100 years, how many of us have touched so many lives without ever saying a word?"

I was pregnant with our second child, our first is a boy who is almost 13 now. Anyway, about 2 weeks before my due date,I woke in the middle of the night with a strange feeling inside. The whole next day I did not feel the baby move,but I did'nt want to think that something was wrong....though deep down I knew.I called the doctor the next day, who told me to come in for an ultrasound. We went to the hospital and got hooked up, but I could tell by the way the nurse was acting that she could'nt find a heartbeat. The doctor came in and tried, but could'nt find it either. The doctor told us we could wait to go into labor on our own or be induced..there was no way I could have waited, knowing my baby was already dead. So they induced labor, they gave me morphine for the pain, but after awhile that stopped working, so I asked for an epidural..as the nurses were calling down to find someone to give it to me, I felt the urge to push. They said to go ahead and start pushing. The doctor was not in the room, and the nurses were in the corner on the phone when my baby was born onto the table. It was a girl...she was beautiful, nothing visibly wrong with her. We had an autopsy done to try to figure out what went wrong, but it did'nt show anything. I think that was one of the hardest things to deal with, not knowing why she died. We got pregnant again right away..which was really hard, the due dates were the same, only a year apart! Our second son was born 3 weeks early, only 5 days before what would have been our daughters first birthday.It's been almost 9 years, and I still think of her often. And still cry, sometimes alot. We have also had another baby, not planned, who is a girl. The way I look at it now is, if we would'nt have lost Amanda , our other two children would not be here with us today, as we planned on stopping after a boy and a girl. It's not easy loosing a baby, it does get a little easier over time, and the grief doesn't consume your whole life as it once did....

I think it's great that we have this resource to talk to others who have "been there". When this happened to us we had a support group at the hospital which helped alot, but it only met once a month....I needed much more than that! If there is anyone out there that needs to talk to someone who knows what they are going through, please feel free to e-mail me. I'd like to help if I could.

It might not seem like it at first....but time does help you heal.

Our beautiful Sabreena Maree only graced our lives for 47 days. She was so beautiful and perfect. Seh was a happy baby from the begining and she was already smiling in pictures at 4 days old. She is survived by a twin named Destiny Ann Maree after her sister. All she knew was love and happiness. Her innocence will always be cherished, and her heart always pure.

I am in so much pain and I don't know where to turn. My heart aches and I don't know how to help my family through this. Please if you can help, or think you can help do so.

I have no words of wisdome, all I have is pain.

Our darling Jessica was born still due to complications from anencephaly. We found out at 17wks that our daughter would not live for very long; that she might not even survive her birth. After much prayer and against the Dr's advice, we decided to continue with our pregnancy. We just had to hold her! For the next 6 months, we planned her birth and her death. At 8 months I found a new Dr. She was compassionate and understanding of our need to be able hold our daughter. Our Jesse last moved moments before my water was broken. We knew she was gone. When she was born, my Dr. placed her on my tummy. I hugged Jessica to my chest and held her. She felt so good in my arms. We only had her for 15 short but glorious hours. I rocked her, sang to her, and loved her. I told my Dr. thankyou and that if I could do it all over again I would, just to hold her. She will always be our special baby and though our arms are empty we will forever hold her in our hearts.

God knows and sets our purpose even before we are born. Many might wonder, then what was the purpose for our Jesse. She was here for only a short while. Was she her to help us to appreciate our lives and loved ones more? Was she here to help us learn to comfort others? Will her story touch anothers heart and help them through a difficult time in their life? We may never know what her purpose was. All I know is that we didn't hide from her. We weren't ashamed of her. We just loved her. And maybe she is the luckiest of all of our children. She will never experience pain, either physical or emotional. She will never have to go through the trials of life. She will only know love; pure unselfish love. She will be in our Lord's Kingdom and she will be whole and we will look forward to that day when we are all together again!

After 3 miscarriages we finally discovered that we were pregnant again. I refused to ge excited untill after the first trimester passed and the Dr. said everything was progressing just fine. The second trimester came and went. They said it was a girl, we began to prepare our home for a baby. We had everything in place. At 38wks she was still breech, so we planned a c-section for the 16th of July. We went to our normal appointment on the 1st of July and everthing was ok. I started to have contractions that night , they said keep track of them . I bacame obcessed with them , then on the 3rd I realized she hadn't moved for a while. The nurse on call (holiday) said go to the hospital they will check you out. Then many agonizing hours later the doctor on call called us in the hospital room on the phone and delivered the news to us. I waited for my doctor to come back in town and on Sunday July 5th I delivered Courtney Nicole a beautiful 6lb61/2oz baby girl. I treasure the moments I got to hold her, and the pictures the hospital took for us.

This is a wonderful place to come to remember we are not alone.

Treasure every moment. Have faith in GOD.

We were eagerly awaiting the birth of our first child together. I was almost 4 months pregnant when the bottom fell out of our world. Andrew was born in the fog of a drug induced labor because he had died but he didn't want to leave me. He was forced to leave. His death came before his birth.

It has been 15 years since that night and the one thing that sticks with me is the searing heartache that was waiting for me 3 days after his death/birth. Our family knew that he had died but my body didn't. My milk had come in to sustain a life that was no longer.

ALthough it has been 15 years since my experience and the life consuming pain is gone, I will never forget the ache that I didn't think I was going to survive. I thought I was crazy because everyone kept telling me that "it" wasn't even a real baby. "Oh, listen to my heart break then." I wanted to scream. (Infact I think I did a time or two.) I want to offer hope and words of support and understanding.

Ride the waves of pain and grief and love your child. There will be brighter days and one day you too will be able to "be there" for someone.

Cesar was born 8/26/98 9lbs 22inches, full of hair and a smile. He was always smiling and never cired for anything. He was a happy baby. I couldn't ask for a more beautiful baby either. Everyone loved him. I called him my little Pooh bear because he reminded me of Winnie the Pooh.

I don't really know how I'm getting through this. I feel lost...There's a hole in my heart that I can't fix. He was my first child and I'm not sure what to do about having another. I miss him more than words can express and I feel very alone.

I am positive that my child is in a better place and he is looking down on me and protecting me. He is my guardian angel. He was put on this earth for a reason and he accomplished it. We are the unfortunate ones that remain without accomplishing our task.