Our daughter, Sadie, was born July 31, 1997. She would be three this year. I was 36 weeks along and we were all very excited about the new baby sister coming home soon.
It all started the night before as I lay in bed and waited for her 9pm little dance she seemed to do every night. I didn’t seem to have any movement so I thought maybe she was as tired as I was from the extremely hectic day we had. I awoke the next morning with still no movement, so I called the doctor and was given the normal instructions and to call back in an hour if still no movement. After an hour, I headed to the hospital totally unaware that the most horrible event in our lives was about to take place.
When I arrived, a nurse attempted to find the heartbeat to no avail and then sent for the ultrasound technician. I remember seeing our baby so still without the beautiful sign of her tiny beating heart. They told me I would have to deliver her and I remember screaming inside, “This is not happening...let us go home.” I was induced and she was born 5 hours later.
Throughout labor, we were given decisions to make. For instance, we had to find a funeral home in the next 24 hours. This was so unfair! I was supposed to be taking this baby home not to a mortuary! We buried her August 9, 1997 and part of us was buried with her. We have since discovered she had an abnormal umbilical cord, which explains her little 2.15 oz body.
We miss her terribly. A part of our family will forever be missing. I would have given anything just to see the color of her eyes. Our lives will forever be changed, but we do find ourselves smiling again. We also find little ways such as the kindness project to keep her memory alive and we thank God that we did have a chance to know such a beautiful angel, even if only for such a short time!
The mind has power. Many minds of the same though have great power. So I say to you that this time of sorrow shall indeed take place.
But out of the ashes shall rise the new World of Reason.
—–Aradia di Toscano
